2009 A New Year

Well, it's officially 2009, and here I am trying to decide if I should make any resolutions. I keep thinking that this would be the year that I would. I really never make resolutions - it's my belief I guess that if you want to do something or change your life, you don't need an excuse to do it - you just do.

Rick and I have decided to make a major change in our lives this year though, so I guess you can call this a "resolution". We have decided to get out of debt. We have to work together to get all of our finances under control, and make some necessary changes so we can start to save money for our retirement. We want to enjoy our lives, but in saying that we also know the reality of this goal, and when the economy turned rough this was a "wake up call" to us to get things under control.

This will be a struggle for us, because we like to surround ourselves with nice things. Each day will bring challenges to us so that we can work toward our ultimate goals - and to keep looking toward the future. Many of our decisions will affect other members of our family, and for that I am struggling emotionally with. We have to choose between that which is more economical for us, rather than choosing to give our children what we want to provide for them. As a parent - this is often a struggle that goes mostly unnoticed--a silent struggle I guess.

I did have a conversation the other day with Kayla. I really enjoyed our talk together and I am trying to be understanding of her feelings toward TJ. I struggle daily with her obsession to be tied to one person at such a young age - and then I totally understand because it's what I went through at her age. I told her that having the "hind site" can be both a curse and a blessing. Blessing because I know that young love doesn't always work out, a curse because this causes a person to be jaded toward young love. It is my hope that Kayla finds her place in this world, whether it be with TJ or someone else - at a time when she is fully aware of the impact of what a relationship with someone does to your life.

I sometimes feel "obsessed" with the timing of life events - like they have to be done in order. I'm not sure why I feel this way - probably part of my "A" type personality I suppose. Life doesn't always go in an orderly fashion, but it does tend to go alot smoother when it is. I did quite a few things "out of order" in my life, and I suppose the end result wasn't half-bad. I also did many things "in order" and it was those times that I believe I really enjoyed my life. I have regrets from some things, and I have blessings from others. Who knows what the future will bring to me next? I guess each day at a time.